Thursday, July 17, 2008

don't hide from love.. or the pain it brings

Three weeks has come and gone... We have had a great time. We came for the training and Got more than we expected. We are still amazed at the depth that we were taken to, the way it was incredibly revealing, and the confirmation that God has given us. However, I have been taken off guard. I did not realize the depth of relationship that can be built in just three weeks. 
I have never felt this... This feeling of love and pain so interwoven in the depths of my heart. Then again I have never had to leave anyone I love. These people... the ones that I have come to love... I may never see them again. It's as though we are all going off to war and know that very few of us will ever return. We are all carrying the gospel of Christ, our Lord, to the ends of the earth, bound together by a common purpose... torn apart by distance and time. All of us are preparing to enter the unknown... preparing to exit all that we have known. We share a bond that others don't understand... and a love they wish they had. 
I truly have loved... and loved well. One of our trainers said "I hope it hurts a lot to say goodbye. That means you have loved... and loved well." I would not trade this pain... I would do it all over again... I was loved and am loosing love in a way I never have before. I know that as we return home for a few more weeks we will be saying our goodbyes to our families and friends. The pain is something that I hate but cannot do without... I cannot leave without bearing my heart and letting my love flow out. I will see my friends and family again. I have a hope for the future with them. We can maintain a elastic friendship that will stretch over time and distance but eventually spring back. Though I never want to let these bonds break with my friends here at MTI, I know we are all plowing different fields. My love will never stop for these people. My heart will always long to see them again... but for now... I will just let the pain sit... I will not hide from love.. nor will I hide from the pain it brings... They will know us by how we love one another.


Sky said...

sniff, sniff... We miss y'all already. Hug your kids for us.
-Jonathan & Sky

Nicole said...

We did love well. One of my "god sightings" was that last walk to Rock House. Everyone went and held different kids. We had become one big family. We loved well. Reading your blog made me look back and see that God gave up this time and love this "glimpse of heaven" for a brief moment so that we can carry that to the ends of the earth. I love you, Janzen Family!

Nicole said...

Ahhh! I am the worst friend ever. Happy Belated Birthday my friend!

David said...

This place was so empty it hurt. In many ways the heart of MTI for us drove out of the driveway on Friday afternoon. We love you, too.