Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Just Being Real, From a Mom and Wife's Perspective : )

Well as most of you all know our family has been in process of building our house here in Costa Rica. If any of you don't know the history of this wild ride, I'll fill you in on a few details.
Almost a year ago now Jeremy and I were in a place of unrest in our home that we'd been renting (still renting through the end of Oct.). Things were breaking, leaks were appearing overnight, and we wanted badly a place
where our kids could run and be kids. After a long time of searching, literally spending hours as a family driving down roads that led to who knows where, and trying to find a place that not only met our needs, but fell into our price range, we entered a season of fasting and praying. We just couldn't get past this "thing" in front of us that was making us feel unsettled. God had proven himself faithful time and again so why not now? After a series of phone calls and meeting a family that would later become our friends through this process, we began to see God's hand move in this request of ours. Things just began to fall together and after returning back to Costa Rica after Christmas in CA, we made the decision to purchase a property and begin building. Why is it that at this point, after praying for so long for something, we begin to doubt what the Lord is doing?? We began thinking, "Is this really what we should be doing??" "Did God really answer our prayer?" We had to believe that he did indeed! So began our journey that has taken up every spare moment we've had this past year.
So here we are now. In our last 2 wks. in this rental and finishing up the things that absolutely need to be finished before we can move in. Will it be 100% done? Not even close. Will we have what we need to get by until it is. Yes. : )
After making the decision to start building and having some things planned out, we found out I was pregnant with #3. This threw a bit of a wrench into things seeing that we were planning on building a very small 2 bedroom house that would later become a rental while we planned the next phase of building on the property.
Fast forward to today. 8 wks. away from my Dec. 2 due date and can I say this year has brought some emotions I didn't plan on! Bear with me while I expose what this process has brought out in me as a wife and mother expecting another. Like I said before, every spare moment has been spent on this place. Literally every weekend, unless their was something planned that we had to go to or a few spur of the moment Saturdays at the beach because we had to take a break, we're spent working. I can say I've learned how to do a lot of things, because, well no one else was around to do them! Humor me while I list a few: the ratio for mixing concrete, how to lay concrete, how to use a spray gun, make mortar and build cinder block walls, drive 4 wheel drive vehicles (this has come in very useful), build a fire every day for our lunch, tape, apply joint compound, and sand wallboard joints. Sure it was kind of fun, I even told Jeremy one day, "I think I like this! How many girl general contractors are there, I think I could do this!" I'm sure he was just happy I wasn't complaining and just getting the job done. ; )
Besides all this, there are some other things that I've learned or was reminded of. The first thing, I have an amazing husband. I'm not sure how many times I thought or said to someone, "I couldn't do this with anyone but him." He works hard all day, is an amazing dad, and will serve me to no end if I ask him to. I learned that as a team (he and I) we were made for this sort of thing. This process, as terrible and stressful as we could've made it, has been relatively smooth. Maybe it's more our reactions when something did go wrong. Normally it was out of our control so it didn't make any sense worrying about it. The 3rd thing I realized and was reminded of is that we have great kids! Every weekend while mommy and daddy worked they ran around outside, rode bikes, played in the mud, : / and just enjoyed being outdoors and not behind bars. Sure their were meltdowns, but through all of it they have been champs. They love to help where it's needed and like knowing they're needed. We've said time and again that we hope when our kids look back on this time that they would have good memories of building the house with us.
I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been hard. If their weren't moments that I just curled up in a ball and cried my eyes out because I was so physically and emotionally exhausted and couldn't see an end in sight. This has tested my (our) faith and made us fall into His arms when we could do nothing else. At times I just wanted to be done and felt like I was dragging myself up there to work. I wanted to just relax, bake cookies, play games with my kids, instead of constantly thinking of the next thing we have to finish. Then I would be reminded of what we prayed for when searching for this property. A place our kids can be kids. A place we can enjoy each other and enjoy the breathtaking beauty around us. A place we can have friends and staff over to enjoy un-rushed time. So after this reminder I'd see the goal again and pray for strength to get through the day. God's been SO good to us and so patient with my frustrations when I can't see what's ahead.
This process has brought out the best and worst in us, but I think the most important thing to look back on is our response in those situations. I am resting, leaning, pressing into the Father to find the strength to finish the job ahead. Baby won't wait to come when it's convenient. Things won't just "get done" without us there. Life will go one one day at a time and I am so thankful we serve a God who is concerned about the end result and all these adventures and mountains we climb are to bring us to a greater understanding of Him and the great care he has for us.


Debbi said...

Well written, Erin! I love your honesty; what mother of several cannot appreciate the roller coaster of emotions....kind of sounds like King David ; ) You have kept it all in perspective~God bless you all!
Debbi Ainley Williams

Rosalie said...

There's nothing like writing your thoughts down to see how God is always by your side and his promises are so true, "I will never leave you or forsake you". It looks like God has and continues to do that with your family and my heart skips a beat to see the women you have become
and how God continues to teach you and mold you into that women he has created and I'm always "blown away"!
You see Erin, He loved you and knew you even before your dad and I even knew or could understand that one day you would be one of God's most precious gifts to us and even though we have brought you up teaching you things like right from wrong, and how to be a good human bean God has "so much more for you". I'm just happy that I'm around to see that happen
right before my eyes. You are amazing Erin and you continue to show your dad and I just what a strong women you have become and how God gives you strength to be that wonderful, amazing and beautiful wife and mother that you are. You have always know that you were a surprise to your father and I but God knew EXACTLY what he was doing when he entrusted you to us on that day May 27, 1981 and I looked into that beautiful little face for the very first time, and it was love at first sight. I know that God loves you so much more than I ever could. I trust Him with all my heart that as this
verse says, Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I will continue to pray for you all and know that God is watching over you and your precious family. I love you Erin....mom